Bring “Amino” Back

Hey there, It’s Moey blogging from Amino’s blog… Please bring her back, I miss her blog and she refuses to blog anymore. HELP!

Amino is a full time English Literature Sophomore. Hobbies include: criticizing the society, reading, and writing. An androgynous writer, conflicted idealist, and a passionate athlete, invests spare time devising plans to take over the world, breakdancing, and explaining all the conspiracy theories to online friends.

Lives for activism, books, and Japanese Manga. Earns a living by being a freelancer, translating documents, and eventually finding a decent job. Most commonly known to be enthusiastic about: gender bending, human rights, and science fiction movies.

Inspired by John Lennon, Sarah Waters, Edward Said, and Margaret Weis. Cherishes privacy, honesty, and independence.

Amino’s known to be the guardian of all freaks and socially condemned figures. Often accused of being a socialist, crucified for promoting liberalism, scorned for admiring anarchy. Practices a tolerant attitude under the roof of personal insecurities, and is not afraid to be wrong, rather terrified to regret.

Favors allegories, satires, and irony in literary texts.

The book next to me…

So here’s how it works:

1. Grab the book closest to you.
2. Open to page 123, scroll down to the 5th sentence.
3. Post the text of next 3 sentences on your blog.
4. List the name of the book and the author.
5. Tag 3 people.

Book title: Dilbert: The Joy of Work

Author: Scott Adams

5^th sentence: Insist that you have a bad connection and ask the person to speak louder and louder.

Not only will the person to whom you’re talking get louder, but he will be angry.

Plus he will be saying completely nonsensical things like, “TWO PEOPLE WITH SMALL HEADS ARE NOT THE SAME AS ONE HEADCOUNT”

This will make your victim insanely angry, but not at you.

Note: It’s an awesome book, I’ve read it a ton of times, H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S

For those not familiar with Dilbert:

Tagging: Tololy, Dragonsvamp, Omernos

Of Gyms, Anorexics, and Blobs..

Behold the almighty gym, where all the fat will be shed. It is no secret that I packed on a couple of pounds, well not a couple, a lot, but nonetheless, I decided to go to the gym. Let me explain it to you, in laymen’s terms: gyms are scary.

It’s like a Spandex and Lycra haven, with all sorts of anorexic gals having their morning breakfast, not really. They just flit around on the treadmills. The moment you enter, they eyeball you curiously:

Who is that lil’ chubby blob entering our universe?

If you manage to survive the eyeballing, you won’t survive the hassle of the unexplainable air of competition you breathe the moment you jump on that treadmill. No kidding, those anorexic gals take it personally, increase your treddie’s speed, they’ll double theirs. Hell, if Jordan wants to win a track race, just send a blob running at varying speeds and an anorexic – I bet we’d win.

In a very funny moment, I was able to connect with one of the anorexics, next to a weights machine.

“You lift the 20 pounds with real ease.” She says.

“I am in the track team. Well, I stopped training for a while.”

“Really? You don’t look like it!” She says.

Now, a real bitch, would have a lot to say to miss-I-think-am-fat here, however; I prefer not to sink to that level.

“So how many pounds you’ve got to lose yet?”

Now, that was a Kodak moment, never tell an anorexic girl that she’s fat. Oh, no, no, big fat mistake. I repeat… anorexic girls and fat don’t get along. While she was left wrestling with her insecurities, I managed to work out and burn off some calories. See, I didn’t sink to that level?

That concludes the Utopian Report from the almighty gym – the land where blobs are scorned and anorexics are embraced.

I am not a vegetable…

In an interesting conversation, with a girl from my Italian class, she expressed her surprise for the fact I am a “vegetable”, yet again. You won’t imagine how many people refer to vegetarians as vegetable in Jordan. Thought I’d share this, Omar sent me this during a recent conversation.

What “normal” people see…

Note: Normal, here, refers to the people who enjoy being on top of the food chain.

What “Vegetables” see…

Note: Vegetables, here, refers to vegetarians who abstain from poultry, meat, or fish.

The amusing thing is that people never seize to give me hypothetical situations in order to test my “Vegetablism”, and make sure to embarrass themselves.

Girl: What if you were locked in room, and you were locked for days with your only friend, would you eat your friend eventually to survive?

Me: That’s called cannibalism 7abeebti!

But I mean come on, a friend in need…

*Munches*

Is a friend indeed…

The Squirrels & Fruitville

The squirrels, humbly and delightfully announce that we have acquired Fruitville, after many rumors of exile, rumors of acquired trees, and threats. For all the bloggers, who are already in Toot, and are wondering if we’re in an attempt to crucify you, unfortunately we’re not.

Fruitville, the new Arab blogs aggregator, is going to be a mix of surprises served for your delight. It is not an exclusive group, rather a diverse selection chosen by the people themselves. We are hoping to establish a flexible, user friendly, and fair atmosphere for all blogs – from famous to unknown.

If you are looking for the best and freshest voices in the Middle East, feel free to visit Toot. As we all know from well cited resources quoting scientific fact Toot does belong to a tree, and the berries handpicked are eventually put into the delicious fruit baskets you come across. Hence, Fruitville welcomes any toot to apply without any restrictions or preconceived notions, since you are part of the basket long before you’d apply.

Utopian Writer’s Comment:

The squirrels story, was written by your truly, the designs by Moey. The story could be read at many levels, I hope you enjoyed it. It was an allusion to George Orwell’s “Animal Farm”, if any of you are interested in reading the wonderful novella.

One thing for sure, we never had so much fun in months.

Oh, and tough luck ….

The End

Who won?

While the toots were so busy “borrowing” the squirrels’ Acorn tree, the squirrels watched amused from behind the hill. Saturday, early wee hours, the toots managed to move the baloo6 tree from the squirrels’ barren land to theirs to inspect it carefully. The squirrels watched from the shed smiling, munching nuts, and chuckling.

“All those who supported the squirrels, will have to apply for residency through us,” Baba Berry announced yesterday.

In an exclusive interview with the squirrels this morning, we have uncovered shocking news.

“The Squirrels’ have indeed acquired the deeds to Fruitville,” Squirrel (2) said, watering a small plant.

“Are you planning to exile the toots?”

“Why would we?” Squirrel (2) said. “Toots are only part of a huge population of fruits that will live happily ever after in Fruitville.”

“What about the previous feuds with the toots?”

“Any toot is welcome to sit on the fence, jump to our land, or play in the toot fields,” Squirrel (1) said. “As new Mayors of Fruitville, we will try our best to serve the fruits.”

“What about your motto ‘All fruits are equal’, some say it will turn into ‘All fruits are equal, but some fruits are more equal than others’?”

“When that day comes, the fruits will know what to do, just like the squirrels found their way.”

“Anything else you’d like you add?”

“More power to Fruitville!” The squirrels yelled victoriously.

The squirrels, rumors, and a ripe Toot…

“We have acquired the Baloo6 tree,” Baba Berry screamed at his side of the fence. “No need to fear those bitter squirrels, they’ve been exiled into the Pink Forest.”

“But the squirrels are still sitting there on the barren land watching something grow,” One of the small berries exclaimed.

“We have the tree now, and we’re safe.” Baba Berry said.

“But were we in danger Baba?” The tiny Berry asked.

“Of course not, we weren’t in any danger!” Baba Berry answered.

[On the other side of the fence]

“There has been rumors that the toots got your tree, and you’ve been exiled to the Pink Forest.” The local Strawberry asked.

The squirrels chuckled.

“Are you in the Pink Forest?”

“Of course not!” The local Strawberry exclaimed.

“Guess that answers your question.” Squirrel (1) answered.

“They even offered you’d re-apply for residency, and offered those supporting the Acorn tree the chance to apply too.”

“Is that so?

“But what about the Acorn tree?” The local Strawberry said tearful. “Rumors say they’ll shred the Acorn Tree in public.”

The Squirrels chuckled, again shaking their heads in disbelief.

“Say Strawberry, ever heard what happens to a ripe Toot gone bad?”

The two Squirrels giggled watching the purple fence.

++ Moey aka Squirrel (1)

The squirrels speak…

Fruitville, 14^th of the Guava Season

Things have never been more exciting in Fruitville, with the arrival of two bitter squirrels with acorn seeds. The rumor has it that the two squirrels residency in fruitville was declined three seasons ago, and now the squirrels have come back vengeful, or are they? Bananah of Fruitville Times investigates.

It all started on Friday, when the squirrels were sitting around the barren land sun tanning. The appearance of the acorn shoot in the barren land, raised many eyebrows, and some attributed the event to deliberate fertilizing on the Squirrels’ behalf. The Toot berries along with Baba Berry, Mama Berry walked to the fence examining the squirrels.

Some of the local fruits speculated that the Squirrel’s choice of land has been fueled by the fact that the toots were Mayors at the time of the residency denial. Some of the fruits even attributed the squirrels return to a protest against the system.

“We do not admit just anyone into the community,” One of the berries declared. “We have certain criteria for admission, these squirrels are only bitter.”

“The field is for toots and they have the right to admit whoever we think is appropriate to their fruit standards.” Kind Berry stated. “That Nut has no right to bash the toots.”

The Nut, a common villain in Fruitville, is wanted in three continents and almost criticized in every fruit season. He is a fervent supporter of the squirrel’s acorn tree, however, some associate his support to personal agendas.

Of the claimed negotiations, the squirrels were baffled, shaking their heads in denial. The only common factor between the toots and the squirrels happens to be a freshly picked berry, donned as the Peaceful Berry, for all the interfruit dialogue he promotes.

“We may surprise the squirrels – big time,” Peaceful Berry disclosed sitting on the purple fence between the toots and squirrels.

The general vibe in fruitville is that of celebration, as one of the newly baloo6s, Mala2e6, composed a patriotic anthem, shock, as one of the berries who has been away from fruitville for a while, expressed utter confusion, and that of silent admiration.

Many fruits have expressed their concerns of the squirrels’ welfare, after certain threats of toots in suits, and fruit knows what else. In an exclusive interview with the squirrels, we got to uncover the truth.

“We applied for residency a couple of seasons ago,” Squirrel (1) said digging a hole for the seed. “No answer, whatsoever, not even a raven on our side of the fence.”

“Guess this is life,” Squirrel (2) chuckled. “I heard you’d need to marry a berry to get the residency.”

When asked about their intentions of taking over Fruitville, their feud with toots, and the glorious rebellion they’re leading.

The squirrels smiled shaking their heads in disbelief.

Can two squirrels takeover Fruitville?

The squirrels and the toots…

As the two squirrels are sitting around peacefully, still contemplating the purple fence. The hordes of toots follow Baba Berry, “Our field has finally found some competition, and creative ones must I add.”

The two squirrels exchange looks, as the tiny berries whisper to the huge berries, and Mama Berry takes photos with her digicam.

“We have huge toots in suits on our team.” Baba berry declared. “We’re considering to take legal action against the squirrels who are trying to imitate us, despite their cute and innocent looks!”

The squirrels look at the two huge toots in suits, munching on acorns indifferently, then plant a small Green Peace sign next to them.

As the berries fidget around the fence, trying to get a glimpse of the acorn tree using their newly bought telescopes.

“Where’s the tree?” One of the toots screams.

The squirrels continue to munch, yap, and plan. The toots saunter around the fence looking back and forth at the green pastures and the barren land.

“They’re negotiating a deal…” One of the neighboring strawberries declared.

“Don’t be such a gossip monger,” The aristocratic banana answered. “I heard Baba Berry will sue them for one billion bales of manure.”

Friday the 13th…

If you think it’s a coincidence that iBaloo6 emerged on this very day, oh, think deeper and look for better “Wasta”. Tick Tock..