Forbidden Voices: the underground society of nonbelievers
It is an ordinary setting, with random silhouettes crashing at the curbs of Jordan’s oldest university. Students pass by, armed with books and bags, filled with hopes, dreams, and embracing diverse beliefs. The sounds mix: laughter and screams, clunks of high heels on the cement, and the roaring motors of the time-worn security cars, all hurried and rushed. In the hustle and bustle, one society seems to go unnoticed: invisible and overlooked. While almost every student quotes verbatim the three taboos: sex, religion, and politics, almost no one seems able or willing to point one living proof of one word: atheism.
“I am an atheist and it is my own personal conviction. Am I open about it?” Salem says. “Of course I am not.” He is only one of many, who are atheists by choice. The common definition of atheism is the denial of God, while few define it as the general disbelief and denial in the existence of deities or theism. For them, it wasn’t always this way, and their colorful stories all share a common ground: questioning. Finding answers to their questions was done through reading, investigating, and hours, days – sometimes years – of thought.
The conversations were rich with names like Nietzsche, David Hume, and Richard Dawkins, and ideas of nihilism, secularism, certainty, and determinism. “You can not pretend that giving up God is easy,” Yasmine says. “It is a source of comfort to many, and questioning God is like playing with fire. You are denouncing everything you’ve been taking for granted as a child.” The reactions of their families range on the spectrum of acceptance, apathy, or denial. Some were pressured by their families to re-consider, others were granted the choice to believe or not in the mindset that their relationship with God is personal.
With the families’ knowledge, the question of being open about it in public resides, and a lot see no necessity in that. “Why would I go around screaming that I am an atheist?” Omar says, “I don’t see the need to reveal such information. It does not define me as a human.”
The view that atheism is a byproduct of their being, rather than a label for their existence, seems common amongst atheists. Their society is a web of personal relationships and connections, in which these people come together, lacking any organization goals but cherishing secrecy. Discussing their beliefs is not done haphazardly, rather depending on the situation, and on the approach.
“It shows by the way people approach you, and the way they carry themselves in certain situations how open minded they are, and how ready they are to embrace diversity.” Hala says. Association of open mindedness to liberals is common; however, their examples clarify the non-existing connection. A lot of them discuss their beliefs with conservative people, who exhibit a deep level of tolerance.
Through the course of the conversations, a lot referred to a more comfortable faction in the society: Agnostics.
“Agnostics are more comfortable in their own skin,” Hiba says, “Simply because it’s a new concept to the people, and no one really understands it.” Hiba, an agnostic herself, continues to explain how people are more accepting of agnostics.
Agnosticism is a relatively new concept compared to atheism that has been there since the wheel hit the ground. They do not see God as a provable fact, rather unknown and irrelevant to life. The majority of them are falsely mistaken to be secularists, and the myths around them create an aura of uncertainty.
“To be honest with you, I’ve seen a lot of people who claim to be agnostics that don’t even understand agnosticism.”
The Agnostic Fashion
Agnosticism seems to attract youth nowadays, like hot cakes. To many liberals, it is only medias res in the numerous fads to come. “It is not fashionable to be a religious student anymore,” Haya says. “A lot of students pretend not to believe because of peer pressure and the desire to fit into the image.” The cool image depends on known stereotypes: the rocker, the punk, and the satanic. All these stereotypes are directly linked to atheism or agnosticism, and consequently immorality. “When people look at me, they can’t see me as a practicing believer,” Ayn, a former guitarist in a metal band says, “In a very short period, after meeting someone new, most probably they’d discuss the issue of God with me; usually in a negative way.” For those people, dressing and acting for a certain stereotype, agnosticism is just an accessory. They are open about it, and tend to flaunt it, according to atheists. “This is what people think we are,” Hiba says, “Drenched in black, listen to death metal, and worship Satan While in fact, we are nothing no different than any average believer. That image continues to enforce the myths around atheists and agnostics, and to them, it is a shame. Many of these fashion non-believers were unable to define atheism or agnosticism upon question. They lack the knowledge to discuss atheism or agnosticism, and justify that by stating they are unsure, and this is just a phase in their life.
Prejudice & Tolerance
Concerns of prejudice, harassment, and trouble were echoed in many answers in regards to being open. A lot have faced verbal harassment and prejudice at some point in their lives, and finally resorted to secrecy. The harassers, however; were believers unable to support their arguments, according to them. They are what they called “obligated believers”; believers who were brought up with religion, unfortunately, not knowledgeable with their religions. When atheists choose to discuss their beliefs within the right situation and approach they look for a further condition. “The person should be educated,” Ahmad says, “One who is an equal of mine.” Of the many discussions between believers and nonbelievers on campus, those resulting in prejudice were between unequal sides, according to atheists. They deem it impossible to discuss their beliefs – that have been acquired after a long search – with people who are unable to support their arguments with proper knowledge of their religion. “I have never been wronged by a practicing believer, who is erudite in his religion,” Salem says, “We discuss matters calmly, who knows, maybe he could convince me. In the end, we agree to disagree.” Many others have supported this claim, and pointed out that in most cases erudite believers are more tolerant and open minded than others. They even mentioned that they have very religious friends, and face no hassle, rather live harmoniously. The two ends of knowledge seem to co-exist while fashion non-believers clash with the obligated believers. The question of surfacing from secrecy seems unnecessary to some, and to others they are in the wrong time, in the wrong place, amongst the wrong crowd. They exist behind the scenes, leading average lives, and fighting all the myths and links to immorality.
-Originally written as a feature, but couldn’t find a magazine willing to publish it.
Posted by Amino 
recent update is as follows:
own— at least not biologically. Instead, I express my wish to adopt children who are already on Earth parentless and waiting to be loved. Adoption seems the right thing for me because it helps people in my community. Is it a child’s fault that his parents left him, died, or couldn’t support him? My curiosity led me to conduct a mouth-to-mouth survey, and I was quite dazzled that most of the answers were:
couldn’t get how Superman gets to kiss the lady, and yet it’s “3eib” here. I couldn’t get why there weren’t any subways in Jordan, or even imagine the big cities with skyscrapers.
Megastore is the ultimate media store, stocked with books, magazines, CDs, DVDs, electronics. Add to that, upstairs you’ll find a funky café where you can sip your drink of choice and read a book. Yesterday, in a rather spontaneous act that does not conform to the monkish ideals, I decided to pay Prime a visit with my dearest friend 
